When Mistakes Become Frightening: What Research Tells Us About Young People Today
“We learn from our mistakes.” It is one of the most common phrases used when talking about education. Yet in practice, mistakes are often experienced as something to be avoided: a poor grade, a disappointing performance, a missed shot at a decisive moment, a lost opportunity.
It is therefore not surprising that many parents, teachers, and coaches have the impression that young people today are finding it increasingly difficult to cope with failure.
But is this perception supported by scientific research? Are young people today really more afraid of making mistakes, or are we looking at a more complex phenomenon?
As is often the case in behavioral science, the answer is less straightforward than common assumptions might suggest.
Mistakes Drive Learning
From a neuroscience perspective, errors are not simply accidents along the way. They are one of the main mechanisms through which the brain learns.
Whenever the outcome of an action differs from what we expected, the brain registers this discrepancy — the so-called prediction error — and uses that information to update strategies, behaviors, and knowledge. It is through this process that we learn to walk, ride a bicycle, speak a language, or acquire a new skill, including the technical movements and decision-making abilities required in sport.
Mistakes, therefore, are not the opposite of learning: they are one of its essential components.
The problem arises when a mistake stops being useful information and becomes a judgment of personal worth.
More Than Fear of Making Mistakes: Fear of Being Judged
Psychological research clearly distinguishes between two very different attitudes.
On the one hand, some people set high standards and strive for excellence without compromising their well-being. On the other, some experience every mistake as evidence of inadequacy and constantly fear the judgment of others.
It is this latter dimension, known as perfectionistic concerns, that has consistently been associated with higher levels of anxiety, depression, and stress, as well as lower life satisfaction.
In other words, the problem is not wanting to do well, but becoming convinced that personal worth depends entirely on the outcome.
In sport, this can translate into fear of attempting a difficult play, taking responsibility for a decisive shot, or simply exposing oneself to the possibility of making a mistake in front of teammates, coaches, or parents.
Are Young People Really Becoming More Perfectionistic?
In recent years, several studies have reported an increase in certain forms of perfectionism among adolescents and young adults, particularly those related to perceived external expectations and the fear of disappointing others.
This does not mean that all young people have become more fragile or less capable of dealing with difficulties. Rather, it suggests that many are growing up in environments where evaluation can seem constant: school, extracurricular activities, sport, social media, and continuous comparison with peers.
The literature, however, calls for caution. It would be misleading to attribute the phenomenon to a single cause, such as social media or a particular parenting style. Psychological development is influenced by multiple interacting factors: individual characteristics, family environment, school climate, peer relationships, and the broader cultural context.
Simple explanations rarely capture complex phenomena.
When Mistakes Become a Threat
Numerous studies suggest that an excessive fear of making mistakes can have counterproductive effects.
People who are overly afraid of failure tend to:
- avoid new or challenging situations;
- procrastinate because they fear not being good enough;
- experience greater performance anxiety;
- give up more easily after a setback;
- attribute failure to presumed personal inadequacy rather than viewing it as part of the learning process.
Paradoxically, trying to avoid mistakes ultimately reduces opportunities for growth.
This phenomenon is also well known in sport: a young athlete who is afraid of making mistakes often begins to play “not to make mistakes” rather than to express their abilities. Over time, this attitude can limit both learning and confidence in one’s own capabilities.
The Culture of Performance
It is difficult to ignore the cultural context in which young people are growing up today.
We live in a society that places considerable value on outcomes, speed, performance, and visibility. Successes are shared and celebrated, while mistakes tend to be hidden. Even without explicit messages, many young people may internalize the idea that being worthy means always succeeding.
This does not mean that contemporary society is the cause of fear of failure. Rather, it represents one of several factors that may amplify a predisposition already present in some individuals.
For this reason, placing all the responsibility on social media, overprotective parenting, or schools would be an oversimplification that is not supported by the research.
Can We Teach Young People to Live With Mistakes?
The good news is that fear of making mistakes is not an immutable characteristic.
Research on learning and developmental psychology shows that adults play an important role in shaping how children and adolescents interpret failure.
When mistakes are used as opportunities for discussion, reflection, and improvement, they can support the development of self-efficacy and resilience. When, instead, they become a source of humiliation, comparison, or labeling, they risk becoming a persistent source of anxiety.
We cannot eliminate mistakes from young people’s lives. Nor would doing so be desirable.
What we can do is help create environments in which making a mistake does not mean feeling that there is something wrong with you.
This applies at school, within the family, and also in sport, where development inevitably involves attempts, mistakes, and continuous adjustments. An athlete who almost never makes mistakes is very often simply an athlete who is no longer trying anything new.
This is perhaps the most important educational challenge: not to protect young people from mistakes, but to help them recognize mistakes for what they really are. Not a measure of their worth, but an inevitable — and valuable — part of the process of growth.
References
- Curran T, Hill AP. Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychol Bull. 2019 Apr;145(4):410–429. doi: 10.1037/bul0000138. Epub 2017 Dec 28. PMID: 29283599.
- Limburg K, Watson HJ, Hagger MS, Egan SJ. The Relationship Between Perfectionism and Psychopathology: A Meta-Analysis. J Clin Psychol. 2017 Oct;73(10):1301–1326. doi: 10.1002/jclp.22435. Epub 2016 Dec 27. PMID: 28026869.
- Moser JS, Schroder HS, Heeter C, Moran TP, Lee YH. Mind your errors: evidence for a neural mechanism linking growth mind-set to adaptive posterror adjustments. Psychol Sci. 2011 Dec;22(12):1484–1489. doi: 10.1177/0956797611419520. Epub 2011 Oct 31. PMID: 22042726.
- Sagar SS, Lavallee D. The developmental origins of fear of failure in adolescent athletes: Examining parental practices. Psychology of Sport and Exercise. 2010;11(3):177–187. doi: 10.1016/j.psychsport.2010.01.004.
